Are you a participant or a voyeur?

When you were a child and habitually involved in the recess lifestyle, did you run around with the other kids because that was the stuff of the times, or did you stand back and watch with slight amusement? There is a general implication that the majority participated whilst an exceptional group played voyeur. There is beauty to both approaches. The participant lives the rituals and customs of their generation without question and thus experiences everything first-hand, feeling the closest possible to their peers. The voyeur chooses to distance themselves from the beaten path of their day and instead contemplates the peculiarities of the choices their close and distant counterparts make. The former lives boldly, and at the same time hastily. They see life short-sightedly, their goals are obvious, clear steps to an ongoing end. The latter lives pensively, and thus at times withdrawn. They look at life in an all encompassing regard, seeing each person or moment as a tiny dot on the face of an unknowable earth.

Neither position has the best views. I would propose a combination of the two. And so I say, don’t just be a participant or voyeur, be both! From my experiences alone, I can say that it is possible. I was a kid that played the field, soccer, football, hockey, baseball, kickball, you name it. I laughed with the best of them and laughed more with the worst of them. I was a steady participant and darn happy to be. I believed the classic notions of success and the need to acquire them in reasonable order and in certain frames of time. College/university by this age, a car by that, a good job then, a partner to get serious, and settle a home with kids before you know it. I never doubted the necessity of each in the times allotted. Not until now.

I have spent a few years ‘doing nothing’ as the old folks at the nearest retirement residence would say. Well, not quite; I volunteered at one for many months. I tried my hand at different things, worked several jobs, traveled, read, wrote, met interesting people and learned important lessons. And in the middle of all that I grew an appetite for observing the way of the world and the characters that make it. I began analyzing and then criticizing people and institutions for the purposes they served and doubting the reward or good pleasure in its continuance. With that came an appreciation for formally unprofitable and wayward endeavours; I took to nature’s company and very simple others. Just a line of poetry, the sensation of dance or a sip of cheap wine made my days filled with bliss. This is all very sweet and need not be undone, though I found myself being less and less involved and motivated in the necessities of a fulfilling life. Even the cheap wine cannot buy itself.

I looked to optimistic liberalism and found that a marriage between the former and the latter self would make for the best of both worlds, literally. The goal is then the ability to play the game of life with the best of them and then be able to see the big picture and significance of it all with the rest. In other words, to work hard but to take time to enjoy your earnings. I suppose I had seen so many bodies blind-sighted by their bills and routine that their faces took to a greyish hue. I swore to never follow in that common defeat. I wondered if the wiser were the ones who laughed everyday and had no worries about tomorrow, constantly living in the present. They in fact did need to worry because strangely enough tomorrow depends on today. And nothing lasts forever. So I am doing something.

I talk about ‘wanting to be a writer’ and I just kept a journal. Well, there is a way to satisfy the inner yearnings and outer demands. This blog was my first move into a balanced approach (career wise). And I could write ’10 ways to lose weight in 2011′ or ‘5 things not to do on a date’ but that would be giving into ‘the man’ to get more website hits. But there’s a dime a dozen of those posts out there. So I am writing with my amateur creative soul. The things you will find on my blog will be a bit more unique. I will play the game, but my way. Once again, I ask you to try this exercise in perspective balance too. I have made but a small commitment to a great passion of mine and if you have one you keep hidden, share it please!

Thank you for reading what I write.