Lucky

If you’re reading this, you’re lucky. Not because my writing is any good, but because you’re here. Here on Earth. And there is nothing more precious.

Earlier this week, something tragic happened to a distant friend of mine. Distant enough that we haven’t kept in touch. Close enough that the news hurt when I learned what happened through the grapevine. Now, he will be terribly missed by so many.

And now everything else is insignificant in comparison. Personal woes and daily complaints of adult responsibilities seem so petty. Even the bigger issues, like troubled relationships, or money problems cannot compete with the aftermath of losing a life.

Its unfortunate that it takes such tragedies like this and the Toronto Van Attack on April 23, 2018 to remind us of just how fleeting life can be. We really are temporary and there is no warning when our time is up. I’m not here to discuss how and why these tragedies occur. Rather, I’m focusing on the importance it gives to the present moment.

Yesterday on my walk home from work, I was thinking about all my cuts and scrapes, close calls and that snowboarding injury that still hurts from time to time. All mementos of my mortality. And I suddenly felt lucky to have all the scars that I do. So without thinking, I decided to run my fingers along a very rough piece of wood from a construction site. I got 3 splinters. I can feel them in my fingers right now. Why did I do such a thing? I’m sure it looked stupid. But the only conclusion I can come to, is that I wanted to feel the immediate sensation of making physical choices and feeling different because of it. To make a conscious decision to feel a slight and strange discomfort, not felt since who knows when, childhood? Only to bring me back to the present and to an awareness that my body is human. We can get hurt. We can get worse than hurt. We can cease to exist.

What should you take from this strange reminder?

Its simple. Enjoy yourself. Enjoy the little things, enjoy the big things, but especially enjoy the people you love. Because nothing is guaranteed.

This enjoyment is not meant to be selfish, because I hope you take the environment and others into consideration. Though, more than anything, I hope you enjoy the sensation of being alive. There is nothing quite like it. So put your stupid phones down and look up.

BE at that concert

EAT that perfect meal

LOOK at that everchanging face

MAKE a real memory

FEEL a love requited

FEEL a love not

Just don’t be afraid of it. Without feeling, life has no meaning.

I can tell you now, that I’ve come across the most devastating thought…losing my soulmate in an accidental fatal sort of way. Perhaps its my fucked up mind or perhaps its just my deep subconscious trying to remind me to appreciate the present. Everything but the present is out of our control. So the only thing we can do is be awake and not miss those moments that make life worth living.

Live it big. Live it full. Live it brave.

Because even when its long, its still too short.

Life.

What can I say? She’s bittersweet.