Misguided Youth

This one goes out to all the kids trying to figure it all out.

The other day I was temping at a Toronto high school and out of the blue, a student asked me if I’d always known that I wanted to be a teacher. I was a little dumbstruck at first. I mean, what do I say? Yes, and maintain the respectable status quo and propriety expected of me.

I said no. Lying to this kid would only give him false expectations.

Then he asked me what I wanted to be before I became a teacher. And I divulged a little. I said I first felt inclined to pursue law because you could get into law school with any degree as long as your GPA was high and you scored well on your LSATS. That and my parents only gave me 3 options; Law, Medicine or Business. So I did that damn test 3 times in 2 years and scored meh at best. That plus working at a law office left me disenchanted…I saw the profession for what it really was; nothing like on TV. Then I went through a hippie phase, inspired by ‘Into The Wild’ a la Chris McCandless…and when I ran out of money, I got my kicks in the hospitality industry and enjoyed the lifestyle. In between these bouts and my undiagnosed ADHD, I wanted and half-ass tried to become a writer. Nevertheless, its the one thing I still want most.

And finally after curiosity won out at the age of 25, I volunteered at a high school, to see if there was something else I could do. My general yet abstract degree offered no prospects beyond spending daddy’s money…(well, he did insist). But then, I liked being in the classroom, so I applied, got into teacher’s college and the rest is history.

The kid felt instant relief. Because the school, but especially his parents have been busting his balls to have it all figured out. He’s 16 and he’s being told that he needs to know now. He needs to pick all the right courses now. Every decision he makes will either permit or deny him opportunities the following year. Because for every choice, there is a whole bunch of prerequisites and if he doesn’t know now, how will he get there?

Man, I forgot the pressure these teenagers feel.

So the first thing I told him to do was breathe. And I said, that even if he did have it all figured out, the chances are that he would change his mind later. Its simple statistics. Just ask yourself, did you see yourself doing what you’re currently doing, back when you were in high school? If you are, you’re a fucking unicorn.

Then he told me exactly what I feared. His folks want him to pursue a career in Law, Medicine or Business. Typical. And he doesn’t feel compelled to follow through with either. In fact, he has no clue what to do. And its really stressing him out.

Now I may be out of my jurisdiction here, but this kid needed a little objective guidance. I call it reassurance. So I asked him what he’s good at or what he likes so far in school, and he gave me little to nothing to work with. Grades average. At least not a complete Holden Caulfield.

So I told him to…

1. Keep his grades in good order and to pay attention and see if any subjects spark an interest.
2. Do some research and learn about the different jobs out there.
3. Get a job. Any job. You’ll either like it, or you won’t and then you’ll have a more refined perspective of what you want to do. That plus you learn an infinite amount of life skills when you work a summer or part-time job while you’re a student.
4. Don’t look down on trades. Its so much more than what your parents say and it can really provide you with versatile skills, an engaging work environment, incredible growth opportunities, a great income, and its more in demand than ever…
5. If you have the ability to travel, don’t hesitate, just go. You’ll not only gain a more realistic perspective of the world, but you’ll develop your confidence, judgement and problem solving skills, especially if you go alone.

His jaw dropped a little. He told me he’d never considered all these possibilities before. No one told him there were other options besides blindly going straight to university and then more or less sitting at a desk with some dumb ass business cards.

To that, I say we have more than enough. But if its what he really wants, who am I to steer him any different. Just because I went to university doesn’t mean it was the best choice. It was just a choice I made, and I was lucky it was an option in the first place. University is not for everyone, and as a public high school teacher, I’m so tired of everyone treating it like the best option for everyone. Our current job market is over saturated with IT or Finance professionals, in fact its over saturated with kids with all the same university degrees…and I can back this statement up with my partner’s insider knowledge. As a human resources consultant, he spends his days trying to match professional supply with demand and can confirm that what I’m saying is true.

Who’s to blame? Ignorant parents, teachers and other adults who hold positions of trust. We’re the ones encouraging kids to aim for the same goals. Its fucking wrong.

So in my last piece of advice I told the kid, you don’t need to know where you’re going to be in 10 years; no one knows. Just have a plan. Don’t sit idle on the sidelines as your life goes by. Be an active participant in your story and set some personal goals for your near future and it will over time form building blocks that will eventually form a bridge to your rightful destination. You might not ever stay put for long enough to necessitate 1,000 business cards, but then that just means your story is an adventurous one with scenic routes and interesting chapters.

I’m now 31, and even with a job deemed the most comfortable life sentence, I’m not sure where I’ll be or what I’ll be doing come 40. Such is life.

After much gratitude, the kid then asked if he could be in my class. To which I replied, you already are.

And class is dismissed.