While surrounded by a sea of green and cheap Irish regalia, I managed to have a somewhat meaningful chat with a friend. He pointed out the merits of my writing and gave me some feedback for the future. This one thing he said, lingers on my mind. The notion of framing my narrative, better. And I can always do better. Its the reason I’m writing this damn thing in the first place.
In particular, the need to frame my writing with a distinct perspective…so that people know the sort of writings on that take place here. Until this moment, I have enjoyed the protection of carefully crafted ambiguity. I don’t like boundaries. The subjects I feel compelled to ponder through literary reflection are ridiculous in spectrum. I’m quite clearly all over the place. So the ‘giselleandbeyond’ bit still rings true. But the caption just below, ‘an existential perspective that can do no harm’ is not only flawed…its lazy too. Some of the things I have written could potentially do some harm. To a person in a vulnerable state, my words could sway them to make a decision they may regret…an impulsive decision most likely.
Nevertheless, that is not my fault. Humans must use their discretion to choose what words will influence them…and mine are still relatively harmless. If the inception of my peculiar thoughts lead to something radical, I’m alright with that. Its better to be thoughtful than thoughtless.
Which brings me back to the sort of ‘thoughts’ I claim to share. Existential is what I have declared through the customs of international blog homeland security. But is that accurate?
Existentialism is centred around the belief that philosophical thinking begins with the human subject and the experience of the thinking, acting, living, feeling human individual. Though freedom is considered the main pillar to existentialist thought, its primary virtue is authenticity. The human condition begins with a sense of disorientation, confusion, or dread in the face of an apparently meaningless or absurd world. Søren Kierkegaard, widely considered to have been the first existentialist philosopher, proposed that each individual—not society or religion—is solely responsible for giving meaning to life and living it passionately and sincerely, or ‘authentically’.
Phew! I can confirm that I still am an existentialist. So that part of my perspective is true…
Though what sort of existentialist am I? A reckless one? A curious one? A silly one? A romantic one? Or simply a kid trapped in an adult’s body?
Hmm…based on the discourse in which I seem to regularly partake…the latter. Yup. That’s the badger alright.
I guess it comes down to the fact that I secretly love to rebel against authority, but I can’t fault it when the logic of the rules make sense. Take the domestic gods for instance. They spit little bits of dust on your stuff and if you don’t clean it up every now and then, soon you’ll be living in squalor. So I’ve learned to clean. And recently my husband has been slacking in the kitchen, so I’ve had to learn a few skills of the trade…because chicken nuggets, although a true testament to divinity incarnate, isn’t nutritious enough to eat everyday…or so I’m told. So yea, I let ‘the man’ push me around on that one too.
You might laugh now, at me shaking my fist to domestic chores, but hey, to me that’s one jurisdiction that I can respect, even if I don’t like it.
I look at life that way. A bunch of rules and laws, some natural and some artificial. But I aim to understand first and criticize later. My criticism falls on the manmade errors because I hold our species accountable… And humans are the worst pests on this planet. Yet, that same perspective which empowers individuals to take responsibility for their own personal journey also allows us to fill our own voids and maybe, just maybe, stitch this place up a little bit. The world sure needs it.
So I don’t know if I’ve left you more confused than when I found you, but my intention was to clarify the voice with which I use to write. That voice being…
‘An existentialist kid trapped in an adult’s body’
BAM!
giselleandbeyond 
First, have you read Steppenwolf yet? I read it too young but it Definitely molded my perspective. Second, we never leave our child’s eye (thanks Mom and dad For a decent one). Third, I always thought of existentialism as a creation of meaning through the art of a story which is our lives(/my life). Fourth, never take yourself too seriously, the ones that do don’t achieve a full life. Fifth, I’m rambling now but you are dealing with perspectives that are too complex. If you are happy be melancholy because we should enjoy happiness but know the world is not just our perspective. And MAKE PIKEY CLEAN HIS FUCKING BREAKFAST! (I don’t have to because I live alone and every mess is my own and to be honest I feel guilty about it every day), but that may just be the Catholic guilt influencing my writing (or the booze. . . or my mother 🙂
First off, if you’re talking about the novel by Hermann Hesse, the answer is no I haven’t. I loved Siddhartha however. And after reading a summary of Steppenwolf, my interest is definitely piqued. Second, you are 100% right, and I love to revel in that. Third, your understanding of existentialism is spot on and I really like how you put it. Fourth, couldn’t agree more. Fifth, these perspectives are super complex but I’m going to keep it that way because I don’t want to pigeonhole myself…and my brain is a very weird place. I’m well aware not everyone thinks the way I do, but I can only see through my eyes, and try to be as mindful of that when I write. As for Pikey, ‘Cleaning his fucking breakfast!’ and the rest of your rambles, I’m dying of laughter because you’re hilarious and suddenly I wish you had a blog because I want to read more of your written thoughts!