Earth Sheep

Those of you who know me deeply, know that my father is not well.

And his erratic behaviours are but a summation of his discontent. Born June 17, 1939 (yes, the year World War II began), he’s nearing the end of his good years, and at times, the end of his good nature.

Times like these, I struggle to connect with the man. His rations and his passions are all too old world for me to comprehend. He lived in a different time. Even his expectations of others echo an age that has long since past. My father was not built for the 21st century.

And then I wonder, at what point did my father lose his grip on the way of the world?

The answer: March 27, 2006.

In the words of my husband, “He lost the plot the day he lost his earth sheep.”

A little back story on the whole ‘earth sheep’ thing:

In far East Russia, in a small village in remote Siberia, my husband and I sat with a Buddhist monk and he told us of our fates. Now, I’m not one for tarot cards, holy scriptures or hippie mantras…but this guy made some proper sense.

At one point he asked us for our personal facts, to try and find our personalities in the Buddhist realm. Our birth dates, times and hours were crucial to the conclusion. It turns out, I’m a ‘fire tiger’. A very rad sounding title for an already hot-headed troublemaker. I was glowing. Then the monk told me my fate (via translator). He said I had a very difficult road ahead, with many unfortunate repercussions due to my own impulsive decision making. He pretty much told me that I was fucked.

Then he looked into Pikey’s (my husband’s) stars and signs. An ‘earth sheep’, he said. I laughed. Pikey wasn’t too excited about that. Sounds quite lame and boring. But. And this is a big BUT. The earth sheep is wise, sure-footed, grounded, calm and otherwise not fucked up.  He said that Pikey would have a very prosperous path with much happiness…

And then he looked at me. The monk shook his head. He said that marrying me may have been the most foolish thing that Pikey ever did. Because his life would have been much easier without a fire tiger to constantly mess things up. Nevertheless, it appears that I was the beneficiary in this relationship. With my earth sheep by my side, “I had a chance.” There may have been words lost in translation but the message was received. The monk made it clear. If I counsel with my earth sheep, and listen…the important part being the LISTENING…..something that all my friends know I’m terribly good at <insert laughter here>

Well, then I’d have a chance at a pretty damn good life. Otherwise, I’m fucked.

So now, when I look at my father, I see what Pikey means. The poor bastard lost his earth sheep. And its been a rather steady decline since.

This insight, given to me via my own personal mutton, has enabled me to see past the rough exterior and find the messed up fire tiger inside that man. I was, after all, cut from the very same cloth.